How to bother your girlfriend

Step 1: Call her at 4 in the morning just to say hi

Story day #1

I've decided to do story day once a week to add a little variety. This stories will be fictional and hopefully funny. Next story day will be next week, so check back for updates and new things as well!

I was walking down the street because I'm a big fat guy. People pulled up in a car and started throwing muffins at me screamin "EAT THIS FATTY", I cried but still ate the muffins. They were just so good I picked a handful of up and ran. Then, I went the school playground. Some kids jumped on my back they kept saying they wanted to ride a fat horsey. I tried to run away but there were so many of them I didn't know what to do. I picked up the kid on my back and started using him to beat the other kids. It was terrible. There was blood every where. There was a little kid on the ground barely able to keep his eyes open he looked up to me and asked "Is this real life?"

ALL I WANTED WAS TO EAT MUFFINS IN PEACE!

How to hang with your bros

Step 1: Get bros
Step 2: Get girl
Step 3: Ignore girl to hang out with bros :D

How to beat the bully

If you ever had a bully here is the way to beat him/her :
Step 1: Smoke weed
Step 2: Don't give fuck

How to party hard

Step 1: Find a place to party
Step 2: Invite sexy people
Step 3: Find a drug dealer to sell you some coke
Step 4: Hire a hooker
Step 5: Party with sexy people
Step 6: Snort coke from hookers ass
Step 7: Ride a pink elephant over the moon!!!!!!!!! (FUCK YEAH)

How to be successful writer

Step 1: Familiarize yourself with various styles of famous literature
Step 2: Write a book. Take anywhere between 1 month - 1 year or more.
Step 3: FAIL
Step 4: Develop a drinking habit and go to a local club and be the usual douche bag.
Step 5: Chronically write about your life
Step 6: $$PROFIT$$
Step 7: Live in the fame and glory
Step 8: Develop a coke habit
Step 9: Go broke
Step 10: Write about your rise and fall
Step 11: $$PROFIT$$ (Again)

How to enjoy life

Step 1: Read How 2 blog to learn how to have great sex. If that fails go to step 2.
Step 2: Go to a bar.
Step 3: Don't drink but hit on attractive people and get rejected
Step 4: Find an attractive person who rejected you
Step 5: Punch them in the face
Step 6: Throw you're drink on a tough guy in the bar
Step 7: Run, if your fat: lol you're fucked
Step 8: Be thankful you didn't get caught
Step 9: Forget what you were doing and punch a police officer
Step 10: Realize that the "How to enjoy life post" on How 2 blog says nothing about enjoying YOUR life lol.